Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Modern Warfare 2

So I picked up Call of Duty (5?): Modern Warfare 2 for the PC. Admittedly, I haven't been playing many FPS the past few years. My last multiplayer FPSery was Counter-Strike. Not Counter-Strike: Source. The old-tymey original. It was fun enough if you got a bunch of people you know, either from real-life or online, and maybe a bunch of random intarweb dudes to fill out the roster and all go shoot each other for an hour or two. But I have no idea what happened to most of those people, so I stuck to the single player in Modern Warfare 2.

I haven't really been playing much single player FPSes either though. Bioshock (not 2) I made it to a little bit past The Reveal (you're a robot!) and got bored of the fetch quest they send you off on and never finished it. The ending's on Youtube, and I was thoroughly burned out on the fucking "hacking" mini-games. Before that, I played HL2. It's been a mostly FFXI and console RPG filled past few years of gaming for me.

So with that out of the way, I guess I should finally talk about Modern Warfare 2. A rhetorical question to start: Did they forget to put fucking fun in this game? The dificulty is all over the map. One mission I'm laying waste to anything and everything. The one before that I was getting killed every three minutes. The game doesn't seem to let you quicksave, and the Checkpoint system is also all over the map, so I'm replaying the same five minutes and getting killed by all manners of crap over and over.

The game seems to be trying to be "all realistic and shit." It's got an offensively stupid narrative and story that you're forced to listen to until the next level loads. The voice acting is generally good, but the full scale Russian invasion of America, which somehow totally catches the US military off-guard, seems sort of improbable.

The red exploding barrels they stole from Doom also kind of detract from the "realism." Do those exist anywhere? Have they existed at anytime? I remember seeing something on the Discovery Channel about a guy who's job it was to shoot barrels of ketchup or something that were swelling and would explode because of bacteria growing in them. But barrels that vaporize upon being struck by a bullet? Not so much.

I understand that younger gamers seem kind of stupid, paying $20 for map packs and DLC that should be free and often come on the game disc they shelled out $60 of their parent's money for, and many seem to think Halo: Combat Evolved was fucking mind-blowing for some mind-blowing reason, but they really like this shit? I'm not going to bother with the multiplayer because I'm not going to grind in an FPS to unlock things so I won't be at a severe disadvantage. Also, from what I gather apparently the only thing fun about the entirety of the game, if you're racist and homophobic, is calling the other players "homosexual African-Americans."

So would I recommend Modern Warfare 2?

If you enjoy more poorly written Tom Clancy-esque stories and a wildly uneven in difficulty single player campaign, or you personify the Internet Fuckwad Theory and want to level grind in multiplayer: BUY!

If you're a decent human being who likes fun: STAY FAR AWAY!

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