Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Full AF3+2...

Yes, I'm quite proud of your accomplishment.

You're one of many tens of thousands of beautiful and unique snowflakes.

Please stop lagging the shit out of Port Jeuno now.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Somebody w/ an Official Forum Account...

Evilpaul is casting Aisha: Ichi on the Giant Bee.
The Giant Bee is Attack Down.
This isn't fucking English.

Ninja Chaimail +1 says "Physical Damage: Shock Spikes effect". This incorrect, it is simply thunder elemental damage. It cannot Stun attackers.
Uzura +2
DMG:45 Delay:216
"Store TP"+15
Seems to not have the Store TP take effect if you switch to it while engaged after using a 2h weapon? I switch to a Gold Muskateer's GK swing it a few times, and switch back to Uzura +2/Kamome and swing twice for 9% TP. I swing twice next for 10% TP. 8 more attack rounds and 99% TP. What the fuck?

If somebody with an Official Forum Account could post there bitching about this broken fucktardedness that would be much appreciated.

LP Olympics

So they're doing a Let's Play Olympics thing on Socksmakepeoplesexy.net, and I decided to throw my hat in. Hopefully, not having entered, followed the rules, etc, won't be grounds for disqualification. Anyway...

Yes, I sort of suck ass. The LP officially begins at 1:57.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Completely forgot about Mog Bonanza!

So it turns out that Marbles are on sale for "shit I never win, but spend 40k gil on anyway" event of the year. So what would I pick should I be killed by a meteorite and could choose from beyond the grave? Read on, to find out!

Rank 1 (All five digits)
  • Gil, because money is nice.
  • Ridill, Kraken Club, Absolute Virtue drops, and Pandemonium Warden drops for the adventurers who have a time machine and can go back to the era when said items were useful.
  • Ochain, Daurdabla, and Defending Ring for the dedicated, but lazy, PLD, BRD, and miscelaneous tank.
  • 10,000 pieces from Dynamis which is basically the "Gil, except I want it from another player instead of Square-Enix" option.
  • And finally, Level 90 Relic, Empyrean, and Mythic Weapons which are all varying degrees of tedious and/or fucking expensive.
This is pretty easy to decide. Well, the first part, anyway. I'd go with one of the uber weapons. As my jobs can either use Katana or Hand-to-Hand it's between those two. I've gotten a Kannagi to the Briareus/Sobek stages (i.e. where it finally becomes Kanagi and gets Blade: Hi), so I'd go for a H2H weapon. Both H2H Mythics are good, but job exclusive. The PUP weapon being the superior of the two. Between Spharai and Verethegna it's a harder pick because the former is very strong as a tanking weapon. But given the chance to get my Monk and uber WS in Abyssea and pimp my PUP a little at the same time I've gotta go with the Empyrean.

Rank 2 (Last four digits)

Rank 2 is much less interesting.
  • Alkalurops, Twilight Mail, Black Belt, Opal Silk, and Novio Earring all fall under the category of "shit I don't have any use for" (or already possess in the case of Novio). I'm amused to not see Novia Earring listed.
  • Shadow Mantle and Shadow Ring are both nice, but not that useful to me.
  • Bonanza Kupon EA is a free AF3+2 item, basically.
  • Cat's Eye finishes the ludicriously expensive Alexandrite segment of the Mythic Weapon quest and almost certainly worth more than the Rank 1 gil prize. So a huge pile of gil, if I could find a buyer is somewhat appealing. Pandemonium Key is for those adventurers with a time machine, again.
  • Really, the only three things that I'd like from this group are Saber Shoot and Twilight Cloak. I've got Opal Silk already and Gugrusaurus is impossible to find on Cerberus. I can't catch them myself, so getting an Ebisu is effectively impossible for me. The Cloak would let me put my Yama's Staff+2 to work and do some epic dark elemental damage.

Rank 3 (Last three digits)

Ick. This category is almost entirely antiquated Salvage crap, Shadowreign stuff that's impossible to get, and really the only thing anyone should pick from here is a Roundel Earring to make their WHM awesome(r) or to sell because 9-10 mil is probably more than the gil reward.

Also, WTF? No, seriously, WTF?

Rank 4 (Last two digits)

Sea Torques, Dyna-Beauc armor, AF3+1, BB items, outdated weapons/armor, and an Odin Statue.

I guess I default to the Odin Statue for my mule option. He can hang with his pal Alexander.

Rank 5 (Last digit)

Rank 5 is the result of scraping the bottom of the barrel too hard and digging through to the dirt underneath. If you like those statue furnishings or really want to do those BCNMs they gave away vouchers for at Fan Fest back when they still did that you're in luck!

I guess I'd go with another statue.


And that's it until next time! I hope to have enriched your life by knowing what I would do in hypothetical circustances that will surely never come to pass.

Monday, June 6, 2011

MS's E3 Press Conference

So because my life is sad I'm watching this thing. About half an hour in...

Call of Duty: MW3 appears to be more of the dreadful same. Terrible shooting and being shuffled from set piece to set piece. And if you play online you'll need to level grind and can enjoy being called a "faggot" or "nigger" by fourteen year olds. Yeah, I'm not a CoD fan.

New Tombraider Is Lara 21 because Japanese people think any older and you hit menopause? Also, her breasts aren't ludicrously sized. Crystal Dynamics isn't even a Japanese developer. I'm confused. And the alternating tap the shoulder buttons quick time event from Resident Evil 4 are back...because those didn't suck 5 years ago. Also, she has Detective Vision now? Is there some reason they couldn't have made a new IP rather than reboot Tombraider for the upteenth time?

Mass Effect 3 Looks to be more Mass Effect which is OK by me. The Kinect shit looks retarded. It's faster to click a button on a thing you're already holding than it is to read a sentence.

New Xbox Dashboard so Kinect can now navigate the entire thing using voice controls? Neat, I guess. Also, people use Bing to search? You learn something new everyday.

Gears of War 3 I know Ice-T is a big videogame fan, but him playing part on stage is still slightly bizarre. I didn't care about the preceding Gears games and I don't care about this one.

Rome because flailing about like a retard for hours kicking and shit sounds fun.

Halo: Anniversary Baby's First FPS is getting an HD remake. I always thought those repeating copy/pasted alien ship rooms and obnoxious sticky grenades needed multisample antialiasing.

Forza evilpaul doesn't care about racing games.

Fable: The Journey Can we really plant a tree and watch it grow this time? So there's a kart racing segment that Kinect can control? OK. Controller's still probably better. And now it's a rail shooter controlled with Kinect? I thought it was a shitty action RPG? Which makes it double shitty because action RPGs are just shitty action games with RPG element shoehorned in.

Minecraft Still have never played it on PC.

Kinect Disneyland Adventures I've never been to Disneyland. I went to Disneyworld when I was five. There's two things about this demo I'm noticing. First, the children they have on stage, like all children, can't act for shit. The mini-games look like things Tetsuya Nomura thought too cotemptably fucking stupid for Kingdom Hearts.

Also, THERE ARE NO BLACK PEOPLE IN DISNEYLAND. Is this set in the "classic 1950s" or something? Did they include "Colored" waterfountains? Hilariously racist? I'd say so.

Kinect StarWars A rail shooter and awkward motion-based combat? Pass.

I'm going to go out now as the additional Kinect shit is boring. Yay, finger tracking! Yay, avatars that live deep in the Uncanny Valley and have great stalking potential! It's like...yes, that's a thing you can do. OK. And? It's like a toy that will have the same longlasting appeal as playing with sticks and rocks.

Also, why is the douchebag on stage wearing gigantic fucking sunglasses indoors? Is it because you need to be fucking high to enjoy this shit?

Fuck! More Kinect Sports shit. I'm out.